2. An unexpectedly cordial restroom run-in:
An unexpectedly cordial restroom run-in:
If you think your public restroom story is bad, wait until you hear this. This is the absolute stuff that gives everyone a recurring, cold-sweat nightmare. I was at this insanely packed downtown bar, the line for the bathroom was a mile long, and my body was ready to shut down. Then, I saw it—a stall door slightly ajar. A godsend. I didn’t hesitate for a second. I didn’t even look. I literally sprinted to it and immediately started to back myself onto the toilet seat, ready to surrender to pure relief. I didn't hit the seat. What I felt was warm... and muscular. I froze. Slowly, excruciatingly, I turned my head. I had sat full-force onto a person’s lap. A well-dressed, terrifyingly polite man who was just... sitting there. We made eye contact for a solid three seconds. I could feel my soul evaporating. You won't believe how he responded. His response makes me question everything about humanity. We locked eyes, and then...